Blog posts with my reflections, coaching notes, and opinions.
Holographic Reflections & Coaching Notes
Our resonance with non-coherent patterns of distress can get a whole lot worse during the holiday season, either because of the acceleration of commitments and things to do leaves us on a short fuse or because the usual work commitments slow down and suddenly we have time on our hands. Either scenario may find us invoking and encountering the ghosts from Christmas past that inspired Charles Dickens. If we are overly busy we can react to the slightest thing that reminds us of unresolved hurts. In reaction our angry responses can flow like volcanic ash stopping anyone in our path by yelling, insulting, criticizing, judging others etc. On the other hand with time on our hands, especially during a pandemic lock down, we may have more time to reflect and go to the places in our psyche that need healing. We may feel mildly depress, sad for no reason or notice that any number of Christmas movie specials can bring on tears that go way beyond the movie. Some time ago, at a social gathering someone was asked what their favorite Christmas carol was as a child. There was an awkward pause and then the realization and explanation that there were no songs of joy in the past for this person to access. In that moment of answering an innocent question she went directly to the ghosts who had never been forgiven.
In Charles Dickens’ tale of the Christmas Carol, Scrooge albeit reluctantly, takes the opportunity to meet with his ghosts of Christmas past and in a sense repatterns his resonance with these experiences. The experiences themselves really happened and can’t be changed. What is in our control is our responses and emotional well-being. By looking at the turning point events of his life, and taking in the wisdom of the ghosts, he gains a new perspective that makes it easier for him to understand himself, forgive and be forgiven. His energy no longer goes to the place of anger, revenge, greed etc. . Instead it goes wholeheartedly towards keeping the season in the present. The past remains in the past.
Like Scrooge are you allowing yourself to meet your ghosts and get a new perspective? For many the holiday season presents an opportunity to get to the source of a core issue in their lives and do healing work that clears away the invisible blocks causing limitation or pain. Take the time this holiday season to meet your ghosts, journal about their stories, and perspectives. What new insights do you have of these past events? What action did you want to take but could not? Or what action would you like to take back? What are your regrets? If your insights feel over-whelming, consider enrolling the help of a professional counselor, therapist, spiritual mentor or coach. It is an opportunity to clear away inner burdens that have been holding you back in ways you barely recognize. Dealing with the ghosts will help you to enjoy the season and start the new year with coherent energy to move towards your very best.
Of course be sure to join the Repatterning for the Earth Element (In between season) , where I will be uncovering all non-coherent patterns related to our having “The best holiday season ever.”
With love and light
Carolyn Winter, Holographic Coach
When the holiday rush turns everything upside down!
This is the week I usually feel the pressure of the season the most though not so much this year due to the Covid Lockdown. The realization that I will never get the 100 ‘good things’ ideas from Martha Stewart magazine done is finally dawning on me, the fabulous presents that I am hand-making are looking for a team of elves to help out for completion on time, and there is the balancing needed for all of the social events. Everything seems to get slower because guess what? Everyone is doing about the same thing. Buying up the same ingredients at the grocery store, going to the liquor store (yes – we have that in Canada) and dashing for presents. It seems you can’t count on anything being in supply only a lot more traffic than usual. However, being the cookie-baking oracle that I am, I have a few tips that I share with you if only as a reminder for myself….
1. Envision the road ahead. It works for performance athletes and it can work for you too. Envision traffic flowing, parking spots showing up and weary sales staff still offering help and a smile. Imagine all of your tasks, and lists easily coming together. I did this myself a year or two ago on a Saturday close to Christmas– apparently one of the year’s busiest shopping days and waltzed through Canadian Tire, Source City, The Liquor Store and the No Frill grocery store in just under 2.5 hours! I got everything on my list AND not only that, got a perfect parking spot the first time at each of my stops. Also found a great gift idea for a hard to buy person on my list (shhh don’t tell – hope you aren’t reading this blog) serendipitously.
2. Use your gut sense intuition. There is a part of us that already knows, that has a calling card to the near future and that can inform us with information we need for good decisions in the moment. To access it, we need to let go of our ego need for looking good, being right and perhaps being perfect. Your gut sense is there to let you know things like, take a ten minute nap and you will be able to enjoy all the company arriving, or that a large empty box for a child with a few small stuffed toys is probably going to bring more delight and smiles than the expensive toy that leaves little to the imagination. If you are feeling confused about some choices in the mad holiday rush, remember to ask “What is my gut telling me? How does my body feel about the options?”
3. Invoke the Angels. Call it the power of prayer or belief in the great beyond, but I have always found that angels are here to help. I also don’t ask enough. But if you do, you will notice little miracles showing up that collectively at the end of the day will make you feel like you are being helped by invisible forces. I invoke the help of angels for others all the time – the news stories that tug at my heart, the homeless that I feel helpless to help but do my best, I invoke angels to help me – find addresses, deal with computer ghosts and gremlins, – all kinds of things. Whenever I do, the path seems to light up. Things get easier. I hear bells ringing like in the movie – It’s a Wonderful Life. They are standing by right now waiting for your requests. What do you need?
4. Let it Go – Where can you let go of a position, a have to have, a preconceived idea of what would make the holidays the best ever for you ? Just let it go. Focus on what you can do, but most of all the people in your life. The confluence of family gatherings ( or in this covid year the angst of having no gathering), can bring out unresolved tensions or grievances from Christmas’s past. Where can you exercise forgiveness and just let a position go? Hanging on just to be right will drain your energy and throw up road blocks in other areas.
5. Send Your Love – The heart chakra energy of love can melt all negativity. Sure you may be the one who was wronged, who deserves more etc. However, when you send your hearts love you help others become coherent and heal. It comes back as love for you too. Strengthen your heart during the holiday season by circulating your love to others if only in your thoughts. This does not necessarily mean a shopping trip. To send your love imagine a stream of pink light radiating from your heart. Create a trail of light from your heart to another and send your light and love. Keep it to yourself for good measure and notice how people around you start to change. It will add to your mix of a rewarding holiday season.
6. Remember Your Connection to the World – think of the world as a person and ask yourself how they are doing? Remember that we are in an official world wide pandemic and that even with the vaccine miracle, the worst is likely not over for many parts of the world. Many are suffering and not coping as well as you are. Kindness and compassion are the watchwords of this season. Use these qualities liberally and every chance you get. Send blessings to the front line workers making deliveries including the mail. Appreciate the health care workers who are emotionally stressed and going the distance to save loved ones. Forgive the non coherent acts of others that seem selfish and unkind… they are likely barely coping. You can be a beacon of light for the world and create positive change with the power of your thoughts and your kindness. All we can do is our part to socially distance, wear a mask and stay safe as much as possible.
Hope these tips help you to enjoy the holiday season.
With love and light,
Ps - join me at the (free) winter solstice group session on Mon Dec 21St for added support . Register here
Forgive, Let Go, Acknowledge - - take a last look at Metal Element Seasonal qualities to support your energy field
When we are in synch with seasonal energies we have the wind at our back, helping us to move forward with ease and grace. In the northern hemisphere we are coming to the final weeks of the the fall season and the metal element time of year.
There are a number of qualities associated with metal element including forgiveness in the sense of letting go, acknowledgement and appreciation. Many popular movie scripts run on these two plot lines! Invoke the energy of the season by playing with these qualities within yourself. By playing, I mean noticing how they show up in your thoughts and actions and try something new. Navigate your personal holographic universe with these suggestions and questions for reflection:
Who do you need to forgive? - unresolved hurts tend to show up for us during the holidays when having to deal with social invitations and situations. Who or what are you avoiding because of an unresolved situation or who do you need to forgive? End the year with a fresh start by clearing the air where you can. It will be a courageous action on your part. That alone generates enormous energy.
What do you need to forgive yourself for? - we all make mistakes but when you can't let go that kind of self-criticism, it festers and can render debilitating energy for anything else you would like to create in your life. Admit your mistakes and look for the lessons that they taught you. Add those learnings to your daily positive update on your life story!
What do you most regret this past year? - this question will give you an energetic heads up on New Years resolutions. Naming our regrets and letting them go, similar to forgiveness, clears space in our brain, as we let out all those old sinking feelings of things that did not work out for us. The "letting go" quality of metal element will help you with this activity. Make a list of your regrets and take some deep healing breathes and then throw that piece of paper away.
When you reflect or journal on any of the above questions notice your feeling state and body tension. Chances are you already feel better.
What is good about you? Too many of us have spent too much time beating ourselves up over our imperfections. Acknowledging what is good takes more of a conscious effort. Make self acknowledgement a new thinking habit. For example, end your work day with a quick run through in your mind of what you accomplished and what went well and reward all your listening brain cells with a heart felt positive "YES!!! I did that!" or "What a great job!" "Today I outdid myself!". Initially your brain may be a little confused to hear your frequent positive acknowledgements, but if you stick with it you will rarely dial yourself down with negative thoughts again.
What do you need to open the space for in your life? - Qualities of Forgiveness, Letting Go and Appreciation/Acknowledgement tends to create new space for us energetically. What new thing in your life will you fill it with? Dust off your Life Vision Intention and update your next steps, next project, next move.
Energize your reflections for a final metal element boost with this Lung Meridian (part of metal element) exercise:
Forgive - Let Go - Acknowledge - Expand Your Thoughts.
For an added boost to your metal element use the group session recording for The Fall Equinox Repatterning (free)
Enjoy navigating your personal holographic universe!
With light and love
Perhaps one of the strongest human life needs for survival is a sense of belonging particularly to our family or group. Many cultures have traditionally had strict rules for the behavior and loyalties of family members that govern the life we live. In fact according to Family Constellation author, the late Bert Hellinger, every family system is ruled by its collective consciousness of unspoken rules. Most of us are unaware the rules exist but we obey them just the same.
The rules govern how we show loyalty in our work, career, relationships, enjoyment of life, our health and more. They are also unconscious or invisible but like a computer virus, they run our brain and make autonomic decisions for us and creating feelings of shame, guilt or embarrassment if we break them.
Originally all rules were set to keep family members safe, reinforce their group identity and create a sense of personal power. You see this strongly displayed when there is a world cup soccer tournament and everyone is cheering for their group's team.
However, when we outgrow our groups rules we may find it difficult to pursue our dreams and goals if they now exceed the limits of our group. We can find ourselves hanging onto negative patterns or ways of being that demonstrates our love and loyalty to the group at the price of de-energizing our own life circumstances.
In order to grow, an individual is often faced with the prospect of breaking the rules of the family or group. Its a wretched state where we can feel very very guilty. The guilt can be so prohibitive that we may give up on our own goals in order to remain an approved member. Our growth stops. If we do pursue our goals and dreams our sense of guilt will eventually sabotage our efforts.
What can we do???? Spend time in reflection where you review the recent decisions you have made and become aware of how your groups rules helped you make a decision. Notice if you made the decision willingly or out of a sense of obligation or to not let your family down. Particularly if you made a decision you where you said 'yes' to something when you would rather have said 'no'... did you say yes to keep your family system happy? Resolve to make a better choice to support yourself in the future.
I also offer specific Family Constellation repatternings where these issues are specifically addressed. We'll identify the non-coherent family patterns that you are ready to let go of and demonstrate your love and loyalty to your family with new more positive ways of being. When you resonate with healthier ways of belonging and being loyal, your family system will receive the energy of your new vibratory state, and the new way of being. Over time, the rules for belonging are updated and expanded. Your personal growth and love for family then helps everyone grow. Over time, the sense of guilt will also fade away.
What goal or intention do you have that you feel is blocked by your family ties and unconscious group rules?
In what ways do you feel held back by your family?
with love and light
PS - or join the next PHD - Ancestral Echoes group session on this topic
Are you experiencing covid fatigue? Many are and I must admit there have been a few days where my own energy sent me straight back to repatternings. I contemplated the session notes with interest and in an delightful afternoon turned things around for myself. Here's how in case you would like to try it for yourself.
Imagine we are down the road a bit, say 2-3 years from now. Life is back to normal or a 'new normal'. Ask yourself a couple of questions from that point in time:
What did I do with my time during the lock-downs? Was it productive or did I waste it? Did i succumb to being a victim or look for new opportunities?
What goals did i set and meet or exceed past my wildest dreams?
What do I regret about the use of my time back then?
Your future may well be whispering to you today about the inherent opportunities that accompany any problem including the covid lock down. Perhaps its time for a career change? Can you take online courses, contact people, or do a job search. If your work has been face to face maybe your future is giving you hints about taking at least part of your work online? With so many free or low cost platforms its possible for just about anyone to start selling anything online. In what ways could you re-invent your work?
Your future may be whispering other ideas for coping with covid in terms of using your time...
What new thing can you start for yourself - writing a book? screen play? cookbook? family history? take up a hobby?
What new habits can you start? Better home keeping? less screen time?new exercise regime? listening more talking less?
How can you keep up with family or friends or work colleagues?
What difference can you make to your community with the resources you have at hand?
For myself I decided that i would use this time to get to the bottom of my sewing inventory ( a combination of clothes, quilting and crafts) with the intention of becoming a couturier sewer. Those that know me well, know how challenging (or hilarious) that goal is. LOL.... but I have to say that so far, I have at least created one perfectly fitted t-shirt pattern that I can now sew up in a few hours. I was so happy that day I could not sleep!
I also remind myself of how lucky I am to be safe especially when i read about those are are suffering in the hospital or have died or those dedicated individuals working on the front line. Staying home, staying safe and making sacrifices now are important. This meme /winning haiku poem from Facebook says it all for me:
Try it for yourself - cope with covid fatigue by listening to your future or have an entire conversation with it. Start with some meditation and then ask your future for its advice. Embrace all the big ideas you may hear! You never know what big thing this could lead to for your you.
PS - if you are a member here at www.LightTravels.com login and update your profile with your life vision intention. Your future may have lots to say about it!
Also if you missed the recent PHD: Career Leaps to Greatness repatterning it is available at the STORE as a webinar and may also help you with your present moment goals.
Today is Remembrance day here in Canada. It is no coincidence that it falls in the metal element time of year where qualities of value, respect, and appreciation are energized. My appreciation goes to the families whose loved one were lost so that we could have a life of freedom.
It is a day when I think of how fortunate my grandparents were to come to this country at the early part of the last century and to live a life of relative peace and security; how lucky I am to be part of the next generations taking root here and how grateful I am to those that served.
The complex energies of all of us together that make up this country and make it a great place to live, comes from individuals like you and me all doing our part. In my mind to balance the exchange of energy between ourselves and the those who have made great sacrifices we need to pledge to do something good with our lives and do what we can to keep the peace within ourselves and for each other.
Have you written out your Life Vision Intention on your Light Travels membership profile? Whether you have or not, your answer will give you a clue and shed light on your journey navigating your personal holographic universe.
The point of exploring the patterns within our self and clearing up the non-coherent patterns that are no longer working for us, is so that we can experience our self as living a happy life with happy endings each day and anticipate that we are at the beginning of something wonderful! We are able to look at our lives and say.... "My life makes sense to me so far!"
In the beginning, our journey can be quite challenging as we manage the ups and downs of life. The key word here is 'manage' because everything we encounter begs us to have some way of dealing with it - a way to manage relationships (significant other, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues etc.) manage time, manage a home, finances etc. But much of our responses to life are done by default - we just act and rarely think about it. Our actions are driven by our beliefs, values, and past experiences - both coherent and non-coherent. As we move forward in life, our unexamined actions can cause us many conflicts, betrayals, or unsatisfying results with life. As time passes, these patterns may become hopelessly entangled. We simply don't know why we are unhappy.
The life challenges we don't fully recover from may cause us to lose sight of our Life Vision or Purpose and we can feel that life is meaningless. We may get stuck in rut, feel negative about most things, self-critical or judgmental and anticipate life with fear or anxiety. Some express this as being out of touch with their higher self or their soul. Or it may well be that our Light Travels membership profile lacks a vision statement!
The optimistic thought about navigating a personal holographic universe, is that we can not only move towards our ideal life vision but we have the ability to create happy stories about our life along the way that will help to create it. Psychologists call it a coherent autonomous autobiographical narrative for our life. (Say that fast 3 times in row! LOL)
Our brain is always anticipating the future with a story of future possibilities AND we are the center of that story. However, it builds on the stories we have already archived about ourselves from the past. What are those stories? How can we reframe the negative ones and think of them as valuable experiences that gave us a gift of some kind.
I think of the movie "Slum Dog Millionaire" as a great example of this. The hero, Jamal Malik answers a police interrogation with one story of his life after another to help make sense of his winning status on the TV show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” It portrays how taking every negative experience and looking for the gift or the good it brings us, creates a cumulative effect for anticipating something good happening in our lives.
The Jamal character demonstrates for us the way to move forward on our life vision no matter how dire our circumstances. In every present moment that we experience, we have a point of choice to act on. Choose to see the best of every moment and make it positive because each present moment experience becomes a story we tell ourselves that the brain now archives. We want the complete collection of our life stories that the brain is accessing to be (at least on balance) positive, optimistic, compassionate, understanding, and encouraging - YES!!! ...a coherent autonomous autobiographical narrative for our life!
When we can access the best of who we are - our Life Vision is easy to formulate and we magically move forward towards its manifestation. Like Jamal says in the movie..."It is written."
Practice creating your amazing life story by writing out your Life Vision Intention. Start small with 2-3 sentences beginning with "I am moving towards my ideal life where...." and fill in the rest. Notice how you feel at the end.
For Further support, I warmly invite you to explore your Life Vision and to resonate with the stories that help you to move forward. Access the related PHD Series webinar topic: Being and Becoming Your Life Vision at the store.
Acknowledgement - With curiosity I have heard the term a "coherent autonomous autobiographical narrative for our life." a few times in the past but finally understood its full meaning in terms of healing inspired by a "Witt & Wisdom" podcast at www.IntegralLife.com with Dr. Keith Witt and Corey Devos. "Creating a Coherent Life Story". I am so grateful!
Every present moment offers us a point of choice to spiral our energy up towards happiness, relaxation, valuing ourselves and others, being energized and experiencing inner peace, calm, confidence and love.
Equally, we also have the choice to spiral down on a continuum of darkness that includes upset and tension, being reactive and angry, blaming and complaining, being afraid and depressed. When we have unresolved non coherent patterns buzzing around in our field of energy such as
But as singer song writer Leonard Cohen wrote ".. there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in". In our deepest state of despair we can take the smallest of steps to redirect our energy and spiral upwards. Resonating with that upward movement is key.
We live in a causal world where everything can affect everything else. What can we do to spiral our energy up? Simply state our intention (in the present tense) "I am happy" "I am confident" "I am love" etc and select a healing option to put energy in our field in support of our intention.
What healing option? Practice asking yourself "what would energize my intention in this very moment? What one thing could I listen to? Smell? say out loud? or what one small micro movement could I take? For me, sometimes it's as simple as tidying up a desk top or putting away one book. It may be you need a short walk, 5 minutes of exercise or that meditation you learned to do online. Ask your inner self and an answer will pop in. Go with the first positive doable thing you hear. Notice how you feel following through.
In Holographic Coaching, I use muscle checking and a map of options to determine the best action customized for you and your situation today. Different options may check out for the same circumstances on a different day or for another person. Your higher self directs the choices and makes recommendations in the muscle checking process. It's highly customized.
When we come into an awareness of our point of choice or at least 'fake til we make it' we ignite new qualities in our life - we may feel empowered, lighter, optimistic and confident. We are also better at noticing when we slip backwards and are better able to reverse any downward spiraling course.
Navigate your personal holographic universe... Become aware of your point of choice. Throughout the day take a 1-2 minute pause and ask yourself "am i spiraling up or down?" Act on your point of choice. Re-assert your positive intention of where you are going next. Keep it simple. Intuit one small action you may take to spiral up. Notice how you feel. Take a breath and notice yourself noticing your point of choice. It's a small step with inner bigness!
Introducing Family Constellation work and repatterning
One of the more fascinating aspects I have learned in repatterning work is the proliferation of patterns that are 'inherited' frequencies from other family members going back many generations. A body of work by Bert Hellinger, known as Family Constellation work, identifies the underlying energy principles that must be adhered to by a family system in order to create coherent supportive energy that flows to each member, in a particular order.
A problem created in one generation that goes unresolved tends to surface in subsequent generations with other family members. It has become a pattern that the family conscience works toward finding a resolution with the most available family member. It can be confusing to the present members, especially if they take care of themselves, do lots of inner work and find that certain problems still persist.
You can get a sense of a system that is in order by looking at an image of a family tree from genealogy. Each generation is typically pictured on its own line. There are rules for where members are placed on each line. Try it for yourself.
Sketch out a quick draft of your immediate family tree. Arrange family member names in a 'tree' with grandparents on a top line, your parents on line 2 underneath them and you and your siblings on a 3rd line under your parents. Don't leave anyone out (no matter your reason) - all souls must be included in a family system for high coherence. Look at this image and notice how you feel. If looking at a brief mini version of your family tree does not energize you, then chances are it is affecting some area of your life. You may have systemic energy blocks that you will find useful to identify and at least neutralize negative charge it has for you.
There are a number of energy rules governing a family system - order, soul weight, inclusion, a balance of giving and receiving, systemic loyalties and more. These energy principals underlie a set of Family Constellation repatterings I use in my work that many clients find exceptionally valuable as they explore their personal holographic universe more deeply.
There are a few topics we can explore in the PHD (Personal Holographic Discoveries) monthly group sessions using Family Constellation Repatternings. I call these topics "ANCESTRAL ECHOES". We'll begin with the "Including the Excluded" repatterning.
Has someone in your immediate family or in a past generation been excluded - meaning we do not talk about them, removed their picture from the family album, stop inviting them etc. What happens to the family system when we energetically exclude a member? No matter how much they deserve it, there are energetic consequences. Explore this pattern for yourself and join us for the next PHD session Click Here for Details. There is likely a whole river of energy waiting to flow into your life when the block is cleared!
With love and light
There is something very special about having a vision, knowing and acting on our purpose and passions or at least being able to keep adding to our life story and making sense of our daily life events. In a generation or two gone by, that vision or purpose was inaccessible to most people, as family, church or state dictated our lives. We were happiest when our clan was happy and we did what was expected of us. Individuals often had to live their lives through the expectations of others suppressing any desires to lead a different life. A lack of personal happiness would often lead to non coherent behaviors as work-around solutions. The eldest son expected to take over the family business instead of following his dream of higher education is a common example or women expected to marry, have children and avoid a career altogether is another.
Today, personal happiness has swung the other way and is much more valued in society. In fact with the pressure to be personally happy, many are at a loss to know what that means. In my practice I often receive the complaint from clients lamenting they are out of touch with their true purpose. Not knowing or resonating with our vision or purpose we easily fall victim to life's circumstances.
We have the opportunity to make thousands of choices each day . Each choice we make either enhances our life story or invisibly creates chaos and upset moves towards non coherence when we are out of touch with our purpose. We make decisions so fast that we rarely stop to think of how they fit in with our values and direction we want to take our life. If our overall life vision, purpose or passions are undefined OR worse we know them but do not resonate with them, our life tends to take a course dictated by circumstances or other people. By acting on choices in a field of resonance that supports a life vision, we are supported in mastering the present moment and organically create a life of fulfillment that drives us toward our vision. A feeling of happiness, contentment and fulfillment often accompanies this field of resonance. We feel at home within ourselves.
Author Ginnie Whitelaw says 'Everything is energy... resonance is how we shape it"
Having a life vision and resonating with your life vision helps you to consciously shape each present moment with decisions that support your life vision. Life starts working out ... better than expected! However, we must take the time to reflect on what that vision (or purpose or passion) is, and become aware of how we act on it each day. What gets in our way? What decisions are in conflict with our vision? How are we unconsciously blocking the manifestation of our vision?
Activate life vision at www.LightTravels.com. If you are a LightTravels.com member, you are invited to add your vision to your profile to keep your vision in your awareness as you use the site. Access the power of group energy and add your intention to any of the group sessions here at Light Travels. Notice how incrementally, you are moving towards your life vision often in unexpected, unexplained ways.
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