'All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.'
— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Riddle of Strider, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Our perception of ourselves and our unique identity starts to form from a very young age but according to psychologists is fully structured during adolescence. Our identity is a collage of beliefs, values, behaviors and energy patterns that we absorbed from our family system, our cultural ties, and early experiences. This identity helps us to negotiate how we live our life, make decisions with ease and have confidence or not!
However, as we integrate life experiences and add to our life story our identity can be challenged and change. In the process, we may become confused as to who we really are. This is often the experience of young adults going away to college and absorbing new ideas very different from their family and culture. But adults of any age or stage of life may also find their identity uprooted and suddenly feel lost for any number of reasons....
- Perhaps you are conflicted between what you now want for your life and what your family expects of you
- You find that your values are now quite different from your family or close circle of friends
- With the pandemic experience many many people have spent considerable time evaluating how they are living their life and make new decisions about what really matters.
- Maybe you have started evolving your spiritual self and have a new way of seeing your spiritual side that does not always meet with your group’s approval.
- Milestone birthdays can also trigger an identity crisis as we tend to evaluate life goals and check off our accomplishments.
All of these circumstances and no doubt more, can cause us to either lose our sense of self-identity or feel a little lost. Our confidence can be rattled.
Consciously updating our self-identity gives us the opportunity to integrate our life experiences, acknowledge our new wisdom, our new world views, and set a new course for what we want next in our life that is enriching, uplifting and fulfilling.
Get to know your new you! Here are some suggested strategies ...
1. Meditation and reflection or contemplation of the daily stream of events in our lives can help with this process. Recording your thoughts in a journal can also help.
2. Name 3 things... A great exercise to end each day and integrate the the new things emerging for you is to list your regrets for the day and the things you appreciated that happened for you. Name at least 3 things for each.
3. Create a MY ACCOMPLISMENTS album - use your smart phone to make a quick snap of something you have accomplished, created etc and store it in an album private to you. This could contain pictures of your last diploma, certificate of achievement, drivers license, creative project, that lovely dinner party you hosted, etc. Flick through your album from time to time to remind yourself "I DID THAT!"
Repatterning can also help by tapping into our unconscious mind to identify the new patterns of being that we need to resonate with to enjoy.
Have you noticed your own self-identity change? Noticing the noticing can help anchor the new you!
With love and light
Carolyn Winter, Holographic Coach
Navigating a Personal Holographic Universe!
For added support - try the PHD group session for this topic.